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#21 Sep 30, 2017 3:37 pm

houston
Active

Re: "WIFE MATERIAL, "WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN TO CARIBBEN MEN?

Vanni wrote:
houston wrote:

Men from Mars, Women from Venus....for sure, they will never be equal.

Houston, it's not about being identical, it's about being considered having the same value regardless of gender.

Historically, women have been considered generally as inferior. According to countries & cultures, still a bit or a lot now. Equality, besides being considered as being of equal value whether man or woman, is, for example, about having the same access to professions, whatever the gender: if a woman wants to be a blacksmith or a mechanic, the doors are open for her, and if she is working equally well as what is predominantly a man's job, she is equally appreciated. Same the other way round.

Still, there are things at which a man is better, and things at which a woman is better: sometimes I call my husband for help, sometimes my husband calls me for help. And none of us considers himself as superior, we both appreciate each other in our specificity. This is complementarity, not identity.

I grew up in a society where women, for the same job, were (still now a bit?) paid less, & conveniently considered as less worth than a man. Also, though there is a lot I like here, men deigned to allow us women to vote in the 70s. And only cause we started to get loud roll

I understand the idea of androgyny. While I am not hyperfeminine in my appearance - I do not wear make up other than for highlighting my eyes, wear rather sober clothing, though colourful (ask Mr, he laughs big_smile ) and am able to hold tools in my hand and do some simple repair jobs in the home, as well as building a few simple structures with wood, among others: I am a woman, cannot be optically mistaken for a man, and I do appreciate some typical things associated with women: love to bake, to sew, to knit, a.s.o.

It seems to me that we are living in times of great sexual confusion. For example, some people wish to remove the distinction between man and woman, starting by little children, raising them up into nonspecific gender: while I welcome letting them choose their toys, I think that it is a mistake, or even a harm to not respect their natural inclination, as much in matter of toys as in matter of clothing, as well as wanting to hinder them to think of themselves in terms of boy or girl. This is confusing being identical with being equal in worth and in opportunities.

The more I go, the more I think that we are in times of great need for discernment smile

Have always admired a woman that can swing a hammer or an axe, as long as it's not aimed at me.
Vanni, I totally agree with what you have said. My poor choice of words did not mean that we are not equal as beings or that one sex is superior over the other. Our roles in society will always differ no matter how equal the pay scale.
I have three sisters and one mother, so of course the utmost respect for females. I do however wonder about the imbalance of equality in the courts when it comes to the treatment of men.

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#22 Sep 30, 2017 4:06 pm

houston
Active

Re: "WIFE MATERIAL, "WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN TO CARIBBEN MEN?

Calypso wrote:
Vanni wrote:
houston wrote:

Men from Mars, Women from Venus....for sure, they will never be equal.

Houston, it's not about being identical, it's about being considered having the same value regardless of gender.

Historically, women have been considered generally as inferior. According to countries & cultures, still a bit or a lot now. Equality, besides being considered as being of equal value whether man or woman, is, for example, about having the same access to professions, whatever the gender: if a woman wants to be a blacksmith or a mechanic, the doors are open for her, and if she is working equally well as what is predominantly a man's job, she is equally appreciated. Same the other way round.

Still, there are things at which a man is better, and things at which a woman is better: sometimes I call my husband for help, sometimes my husband calls me for help. And none of us considers himself as superior, we both appreciate each other in our specificity. This is complementarity, not identity.

I grew up in a society where women, for the same job, were (still now a bit?) paid less, & conveniently considered as less worth than a man. Also, though there is a lot I like here, men deigned to allow us women to vote in the 70s. And only cause we started to get loud roll

I understand the idea of androgyny. While I am not hyperfeminine in my appearance - I do not wear make up other than for highlighting my eyes, wear rather sober clothing, though colourful (ask Mr, he laughs big_smile ) and am able to hold tools in my hand and do some simple repair jobs in the home, as well as building a few simple structures with wood, among others: I am a woman, cannot be optically mistaken for a man, and I do appreciate some typical things associated with women: love to bake, to sew, to knit, a.s.o.

It seems to me that we are living in times of great sexual confusion. For example, some people wish to remove the distinction between man and woman, starting by little children, raising them up into nonspecific gender: while I welcome letting them choose their toys, I think that it is a mistake, or even a harm to not respect their natural inclination, as much in matter of toys as in matter of clothing, as well as wanting to hinder them to think of themselves in terms of boy or girl. This is confusing being identical with being equal in worth and in opportunities.

The more I go, the more I think that we are in times of great need for discernment smile



>>>> grew up in a society where women, for the same job, were (still now a bit?) paid less, & conveniently considered as less worth than a man. Also, though there is a lot I like here, men deigned to allow us women to vote in the 70s. And only cause we started to get loud <<<<<<

We had to get loud in the seventies because the law wasn't on our side. The Caribbean is predominantly a working -class society and many people were poorer. We had children out of wedlock, therefore, there was little protection.  The emerging light-skinned, mixed-race people were of the better class.  Birth-control had to be used to control the population and some women were sterilized unknowingly to prevent further poverty and population growth.  Fighting for equal pay and better jobs were necessary. Caribbean working-class women didn't have any luxuries as their middle-class counterparts. They were primarily illiterate and  their men didn't know how to apply headship in a family. Thus, the women became man-like out of necessity. Black women, both Caribbean and North Americans are put down for their masculinity but it is important to know that it was a role thrust up on us by society. We in-return, passed it on to our female off-springs.  It is time that we demand more from our men so that we could lay down and rest. for a change!

Calypso, that eye opener was interesting to read, thanks lady.

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#23 Sep 30, 2017 7:03 pm

Vanni
Active

Re: "WIFE MATERIAL, "WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN TO CARIBBEN MEN?

houston wrote:

Have always admired a woman that can swing a hammer or an axe, as long as it's not aimed at me.
Vanni, I totally agree with what you have said. My poor choice of words did not mean that we are not equal as beings or that one sex is superior over the other. Our roles in society will always differ no matter how equal the pay scale.
I have three sisters and one mother, so of course the utmost respect for females. I do however wonder about the imbalance of equality in the courts when it comes to the treatment of men.

LOL! Yes a nail is the only right target for a hammer.

With the issue of the LGBT, where obviously a human being deserves to be respected regardless of his sexual orientation - that is, as long as it is between two consenting adults - it seems to me that there is a great (intentional?) confusion going on about gender nowadays, making us almost feel guilty to be simply man or woman.

As for the courts, it's a sad thing to have turned the situation the other way round - this is not balance, but revenge, and revenge only brings back the same. Fairness is needed.

Last edited by Vanni (Sep 30, 2017 7:05 pm)

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#24 Oct 01, 2017 10:06 am

Slice
Active

Re: "WIFE MATERIAL, "WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN TO CARIBBEN MEN?

Calypso wrote:
New Historian wrote:

Woman stop moaning and go cook your man dinner lol!!

How about my man putting a nice string of South Sea pearls around my neck and taking me to a fine restaurant???

My wife took me to the Charleston Friday night. If you ever get ah chance and you in Baltimore check it out.

You heard me?  AH SAY ME WIFEE TOOK ME THERE.

Last edited by Slice (Oct 01, 2017 10:07 am)

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#25 Oct 02, 2017 5:39 am

Calypso
Active

Re: "WIFE MATERIAL, "WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN TO CARIBBEN MEN?

Slice wrote:
Calypso wrote:
New Historian wrote:

Woman stop moaning and go cook your man dinner lol!!

How about my man putting a nice string of South Sea pearls around my neck and taking me to a fine restaurant???

My wife took me to the Charleston Friday night. If you ever get ah chance and you in Baltimore check it out.

You heard me?  AH SAY ME WIFEE TOOK ME THERE.

Typical Caribbean men. The brain of a pea and the dick and responsibility of a donkey!

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#26 Oct 02, 2017 7:07 am

Slice
Active

Re: "WIFE MATERIAL, "WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN TO CARIBBEN MEN?

"The brain of a pea and the dick and responsibility of a donkey!"  Thanks Kaiso, especially the dick part.  You see Kaiso, that is the only thing that matters to ah bunch ah women. There are two insults Caribbean men can't take, a little dick and can't satisfy, ah woman sexually.  Is so we dey.

Kaiso, you just doh understand how Caribbean men are in demand in my area.  Lord we are like gold.

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