You are not logged in.

Announcement

Welcome to the one and only Spiceislander Talkshop.

#1 Mar 10, 2018 12:10 am

New Historian
Active

Never get caught with your dick in your hand

Know when you're at your most vulnerable? When you've got your dick in your hand. Standing at the urinal.

At the Black Steer steakhouse in Harare Zimbabwe, my brother Tom and I are shooting the breeze, after a long, leisurely liquid lunch. Two guys came up the stairs, slowly walked through the steakhouse, and left by the back exit.

"Dodgy blokes." Says Tom, accurately. Like my sainted mother-in-law Mags used to say: You can just spot a tief, I spot them every time. Well she would have spotted these two, clearly up to no good.

Ten minutes later, I need the boys' room. In this establishment, the toilets are down the end of a long corridor, and I noticed that the light bulb was off: alarm bell number one. I entered the men's room, and headed to the urinal. I noticed, out the corner of my eye, at the sink washing his hands, was one of the two dodgy blokes I'd seen walk through the place earlier on. And then, I noticed a sound that told me that another person, unseen, was in one of the cubicles.

I didn't need any more alarm bells. I stood at the urinal, zipped up, turned to look at the dodgy bloke at the sink and made it clear: clocked ya, and headed out of there. A couple of minutes the two of them came back the other way, retracing their steps. They looked at us; we looked at them: clocked ya.

Never get caught with your dick in your hand.

Offline

#2 Mar 10, 2018 8:58 am

Dancer
Active

Re: Never get caught with your dick in your hand

Classy Calypso would be frowning with your headline . Wonder if she has the balls to call you out.

hehe

Offline

#3 Mar 10, 2018 7:18 pm

Expat
Active

Re: Never get caught with your dick in your hand

New Historian wrote:

Know when you're at your most vulnerable? When you've got your dick in your hand. Standing at the urinal.

At the Black Steer steakhouse in Harare Zimbabwe, my brother Tom and I are shooting the breeze, after a long, leisurely liquid lunch. Two guys came up the stairs, slowly walked through the steakhouse, and left by the back exit.

"Dodgy blokes." Says Tom, accurately. Like my sainted mother-in-law Mags used to say: You can just spot a tief, I spot them every time. Well she would have spotted these two, clearly up to no good.

Ten minutes later, I need the boys' room. In this establishment, the toilets are down the end of a long corridor, and I noticed that the light bulb was off: alarm bell number one. I entered the men's room, and headed to the urinal. I noticed, out the corner of my eye, at the sink washing his hands, was one of the two dodgy blokes I'd seen walk through the place earlier on. And then, I noticed a sound that told me that another person, unseen, was in one of the cubicles.

I didn't need any more alarm bells. I stood at the urinal, zipped up, turned to look at the dodgy bloke at the sink and made it clear: clocked ya, and headed out of there. A couple of minutes the two of them came back the other way, retracing their steps. They looked at us; we looked at them: clocked ya.

Never get caught with your dick in your hand.

Some short comings can be useful....

Some of us would have taken a while to roll up the hosepipe before we zip up.

Online

#4 Mar 11, 2018 6:09 am

Calypso
Active

Re: Never get caught with your dick in your hand

Expat wrote:
New Historian wrote:

Know when you're at your most vulnerable? When you've got your dick in your hand. Standing at the urinal.

At the Black Steer steakhouse in Harare Zimbabwe, my brother Tom and I are shooting the breeze, after a long, leisurely liquid lunch. Two guys came up the stairs, slowly walked through the steakhouse, and left by the back exit.

"Dodgy blokes." Says Tom, accurately. Like my sainted mother-in-law Mags used to say: You can just spot a tief, I spot them every time. Well she would have spotted these two, clearly up to no good.

Ten minutes later, I need the boys' room. In this establishment, the toilets are down the end of a long corridor, and I noticed that the light bulb was off: alarm bell number one. I entered the men's room, and headed to the urinal. I noticed, out the corner of my eye, at the sink washing his hands, was one of the two dodgy blokes I'd seen walk through the place earlier on. And then, I noticed a sound that told me that another person, unseen, was in one of the cubicles.

I didn't need any more alarm bells. I stood at the urinal, zipped up, turned to look at the dodgy bloke at the sink and made it clear: clocked ya, and headed out of there. A couple of minutes the two of them came back the other way, retracing their steps. They looked at us; we looked at them: clocked ya.

Never get caught with your dick in your hand.

Some short comings can be useful....

Some of us would have taken a while to roll up the hosepipe before we zip up.

Great title for a story but the scenario is rather bland.  Were the blokes going to rob or rape you in the urinal?  It was in Africa and you stood out as a foreigner with money. It was worth trying. What a pity!

Offline

#5 Mar 11, 2018 10:59 am

New Historian
Active

Re: Never get caught with your dick in your hand

I didn't stand out at all. They were "tsotsis" pure and simple. AKA tief.

Offline

Board footer

Powered by FluxBB