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#1 Mar 28, 2019 11:22 am

New Historian
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Bike Blunders (1)

One day I was riding with a raging head cold, and I turned around and let loose a load of phlegm, straight from the depths of hell. Then I remembered: I was wearing a full-face helmet!

Damage: One faceful of flob.


I was riding along Spanish Town Highway and ran into a swarm of bees. Three of them flew into my shirt and began stinging the hell out of me. So there I was screaming my head off, tearing at my shirt with one hand while slowing down and swerving through the trucks with the other.

Damage: Six stings, and one new shirt.


In Johannesburg a big bee flew into my helmet, straight into my left ear! Stop the bike, yank off helmet, stick finger into ear and crush the bee – stinging all the way.

Damage: One cauliflower ear.

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#2 Mar 28, 2019 12:05 pm

Real Distwalker
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Re: Bike Blunders (1)

Damn. Bee sting in the ear?  I bet that was nasty and painful.

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#3 Mar 28, 2019 3:38 pm

New Historian
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Re: Bike Blunders (1)

One big ole bee too, my ear was swollen all day lol!!

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#4 Mar 29, 2019 10:29 pm

Expat
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Re: Bike Blunders (1)

New Historian wrote:

One big ole bee too, my ear was swollen all day lol!!

I faught Bees only got to sting once.... and leave the pumping stinger in ya.

I got a Mibone in the face along Westerhall Straight at about 60mph on the Harley. Just under the eye..... yowsir.

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#5 Mar 31, 2019 7:22 am

Slice
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Re: Bike Blunders (1)

Expat wrote:
New Historian wrote:

One big ole bee too, my ear was swollen all day lol!!

I faught Bees only got to sting once.... and leave the pumping stinger in ya.

I got a Mibone in the face along Westerhall Straight at about 60mph on the Harley. Just under the eye..... yowsir.

Wait leh me get this right, You were actually riding or driving something at 60MPH?  I am shocked.  You are so Mr Goody two shoes, that shocked me.

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#6 Mar 31, 2019 7:26 am

Slice
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Re: Bike Blunders (1)

New Historian wrote:

One day I was riding with a raging head cold, and I turned around and let loose a load of phlegm, straight from the depths of hell. Then I remembered: I was wearing a full-face helmet!

Damage: One faceful of flob.


I was riding along Spanish Town Highway and ran into a swarm of bees. Three of them flew into my shirt and began stinging the hell out of me. So there I was screaming my head off, tearing at my shirt with one hand while slowing down and swerving through the trucks with the other.

Damage: Six stings, and one new shirt.


In Johannesburg a big bee flew into my helmet, straight into my left ear! Stop the bike, yank off helmet, stick finger into ear and crush the bee – stinging all the way.

Damage: One cauliflower ear.

Despite me growing up around bikes, I want nothing to do with them.  Me neighbor had about 10 ah dem and kill me, I ent getting on dem. He was going to sell me one for almost nothing, and ah still say HELL! no.  Plus it was ah Harley.

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#7 Mar 31, 2019 5:06 pm

Expat
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Re: Bike Blunders (1)

Slice wrote:
Expat wrote:
New Historian wrote:

One big ole bee too, my ear was swollen all day lol!!

I faught Bees only got to sting once.... and leave the pumping stinger in ya.

I got a Mibone in the face along Westerhall Straight at about 60mph on the Harley. Just under the eye..... yowsir.

Wait leh me get this right, You were actually riding or driving something at 60MPH?  I am shocked.  You are so Mr Goody two shoes, that shocked me.

I think you are projecting your opinions rather than seeing the real person.

Speed.... in a sensible and safe place is my middle name.  I have done 125 on the motorway where there were no speed cameras and it was around 3 in the morning with no other traffic.
That was in a LS430 which was glued to the road and smooth as silk.

P.S. the speed limit is 70.

Last edited by Expat (Mar 31, 2019 5:07 pm)

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#8 Mar 31, 2019 8:25 pm

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Re: Bike Blunders (1)

My fastest was 260 kph, 160 mph, on my Yamaha 1300 FJR in South Africa, on those long straight roads through the deserted Karoo Desert. Steady as a rock.

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#9 Mar 31, 2019 10:24 pm

Expat
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Re: Bike Blunders (1)

New Historian wrote:

My fastest was 260 kph, 160 mph, on my Yamaha 1300 FJR in South Africa, on those long straight roads through the deserted Karoo Desert. Steady as a rock.

I diverged from the Bike theme to illuminate a point the LS430 is a Lexus. Which as could have kissed my license goodby, I might have well taken it to the top which was 155... but 125 was just fine.... actually when I dropped back onto the M25 and did a sluggish 80 it felt as if I could have got out of the door and run alongside.

I never understood why Jeremy Clarkson et All slagged the Lexus calling it boring, when the only other contender was the Merc S Class. Which is undoubtedly a super car, but hints of firmness as with most German vehicles.

I certainly miss it now driving my bone shaker as Slice might imply. The Rav4 may come from the same stable, and even share some parts, but it is like chalk and cheese. I had 14 years of Lexus 400 series, and I kinda forgot what regular cars were like.

The speeding convo brought back a memory where I was driving into London rather early, maybe 5am, in via the A4. Even at that hour there was more traffic than I needed to be there, so in a non aggressive way I slipped from lane to lane to take advantage of the long gaps between vehicles in different lanes. At one point a lorry was chugging along in the centre lane of 3 at around 40... the speed limit. I indicated touched the pedal just slightly pulled over and sweetly dropped back in front of the lorry.

Some way down the road the blue lights flashed, and I realised it was for me. So I pulled over, and awaited the classic... do you know what speed you were doing. Not wanting to sound too stupid, I answered I am not too sure, maybe 50? Try 60 says plod. Ewwww says I... then he says and you overtook that lorry quite aggressively.... at that exact moment as I was driving mentally in auto... I thought.... what lorry?  I thought it best not to say his piece of crap Peugeot or Astra or what ever it was probably had to be wound up to get it moving, whereas the 4.3 litres of the Lexus was effortless, and I hadn't been aggressive at all.  Anyhoooows I ate humble pie, and he slapped my wrist, and we both went our separate ways.

If I remember correctly it has a 0-60 of 4.7 seconds, which for a large Sedan is not sluggish. I know the kick down at 80 would get your attention, and the glass of water on the engine wouldn't budge. (obviously not when you were doing 80)   smile

I just skimmed back on some reviews, and the figures given are definitely not what I am certain they were at the time. I did at least find one set that had the governed top speed as 155. Just in case someone does a search and says I am bsing.

Last edited by Expat (Mar 31, 2019 10:43 pm)

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