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#1 Sep 05, 2020 6:32 pm

New Historian
Active

Right said Fred

Old Fred was a regular at Sep's Bar in Woburn. Like most of the clientele at Sep's, Fred was a yachtie, living on his small boat moored in Woburn Bay. I don't know which was more decrepit: Fred or his boat; but both of them managed to soldier on, despite their best days being long behind them.

Fred could tell a tall tale; he'd been a beatnik in the 50's, a hippie in the 60's, and a rebel ever since. He rubbed shoulders with Dylan in Greenwich Village, sold grass to the Grateful Dead, and late in life learned to sail and circumnavigated the world on his ancient 26-foot yacht. Like hundreds of other yachties who've washed up on Grenada's shores, sometimes literally, he fell in love and decided to stay. He used to sail his boat up to St Vincent and back every 6 months to renew his visa, but then he just flew instead. Maybe because of age but he had a slight stammer, not that this stopped him from regaling the bar with his hilarious stories.

He got arrested for smoking weed in Grenada, and he told the magistrate, Christ I'm 75, nothing works any more, what else am I supposed to do? Case dismissed. Once he told me he would be flying to Jamaica to meet his son, and did I know how to get from Kingston Airport, to Port Antonio on the north coast - by bus. No, please don't, they'll rob you! But did it he did, and survived to tell another tall tale.

I don't know if he had a premonition, but one day Fred decided: I need to treat myself. So he spoke to a local girl from Woburn, came to an understanding, and went on the Osprey with her up to Carriacou. In telling me the story of what transpired afterwards, my other good friend at Sep's, also sadly deceased, Country Dave, said:

"Fred went up there with a box of Viagra - and came back in a box!"

Yes, Fred left the world the same way he came in: buck nekkid! Country Dave said that some people were giving the girl a hard time, how she kill de man, but Country hugged her up: THANKS, for giving my good friend the absolute BEST of send-offs!! smile

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#2 Sep 07, 2020 8:43 pm

Dancer
Active

Re: Right said Fred

A couple of days ago ..... These guys cooking   , some fish , noodles ,  you know ,    ....   a cook out .
   Guys  talking !
This 70 year  man  telling the boys   ..  " seriously "  He  must have  the maximum   Viagra dose of 100mg  to raise his crane . 
Cock Crowing .
De boys laugh in wonder . LO.

One of the guys invited me to   his  Church  , ok , I game . Met some of his friends .
This chap a  JCB  from England ,  a new car , nice clothes , spending some English pounds.
" A  Play Boy to the women  ....  "  So  one  night his wife got this call ,    Wilma , come fuh yuh husband down here . He like he dead " )

.............
> Fred went up there with  a box  Viagra - and came back in a box  <  Lo !

  " that is a good one , you can use  and adapt that in your ever day life  , lo.

Last edited by Dancer (Sep 07, 2020 8:47 pm)

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