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#11 Apr 07, 2018 12:49 pm

New Historian
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Re: OUT OF WEDLOCK BIRTHS ON THE RAMPAGE--MOSTLY AMONG BLACKS AND LATINOS

Poor Cal, living in her bubble of perfect conventional family morality; where all men are honourble and woo women and sweep off their feet, to get married and live happily ever after, with 2.5 children and a dog. I've heard about this perfect world, seen it on tv in shows like the Brady Bunch and Partridge Family, but I've seldom encountered it in real life. No families are perfect, and those few that are, are invariably boring.

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#12 Apr 07, 2018 2:20 pm

Calypso
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Re: OUT OF WEDLOCK BIRTHS ON THE RAMPAGE--MOSTLY AMONG BLACKS AND LATINOS

You are not getting the point NH. I do not live my life in a bubble but I have a moral compass. We have a slave culture that we keep on extending after the abolition of slavery. As a result, we are a shattered race.  Higher education, having children in wedlock, working at a marriage, saving our money are all middle-class values. These values have managed to stabilized the European community. I am not about white picket fences and two and a half children. In fact, I never wanted children. Had I been lucky in my youth and had found a capable man, I would have had to institute those values to make my family stable and successful. My friends have done the same successfully. If you want to put yourself first then don't have children.

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#13 Apr 07, 2018 5:30 pm

Expat
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Re: OUT OF WEDLOCK BIRTHS ON THE RAMPAGE--MOSTLY AMONG BLACKS AND LATINOS

New Historian wrote:

I hate that word, bastard, it belongs in the dustbin of history, where it meant something, invariably negative. Modernize your thinking girl, welcome to the 21st century! Shame on people (like you, apparently) who want to stigmatize innocent children with your outdated moral hangups! They are not BASTARDS, they are CHILDREN, so what if their parents didn't stand in front of the hypocritical priest and swear vows they don't intend to keep? Children may suffer out of wedlock but they can suffer just as much - more - by growing up in a "perfectly married" home where their parents have long ago fallen out of love and just keep the sham of family life going "for the children".

You seem to have some unresolved issues there...

For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health til death do us part.

You make the commitment. You should stick to it, otherwise there was absolutely no point in signing the contract. Many people marry with stars in their eyes, and a throbbing in their crutch without either taking council or thinking past the pretty dress.

Having made the commitment one should be prepared to see it through...unless one party or the other is a persistent horner, or abusive.

Families SHOULD be held together "for the children" it is your moral obligation. They did not ask to be created in a wreck of a marriage, and should not expect to have to visit one parent or the other every other weekend.

While I have no real problem with "common law" marriages, it does indicate the parties simply are not prepared to make that commitment, so really would be better off not making children. A family is one that is TOGETHER, not a take a break from the current girlfriends hot spot to put in some kid time because you aught to. I do not call a part time father a Family unit.

Most westerners marry from choice and many make a mess of it.

Most Indian Asians marry by parental choice and have little choice. Yet have generally a much higher success rate... With the exception of that naughty man caught on that radio show....   smile

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#14 Apr 07, 2018 6:20 pm

Calypso
Active

Re: OUT OF WEDLOCK BIRTHS ON THE RAMPAGE--MOSTLY AMONG BLACKS AND LATINOS

Expat wrote:
New Historian wrote:

I hate that word, bastard, it belongs in the dustbin of history, where it meant something, invariably negative. Modernize your thinking girl, welcome to the 21st century! Shame on people (like you, apparently) who want to stigmatize innocent children with your outdated moral hangups! They are not BASTARDS, they are CHILDREN, so what if their parents didn't stand in front of the hypocritical priest and swear vows they don't intend to keep? Children may suffer out of wedlock but they can suffer just as much - more - by growing up in a "perfectly married" home where their parents have long ago fallen out of love and just keep the sham of family life going "for the children".

You seem to have some unresolved issues there...

For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health til death do us part.

You make the commitment. You should stick to it, otherwise there was absolutely no point in signing the contract. Many people marry with stars in their eyes, and a throbbing in their crutch without either taking council or thinking past the pretty dress.

Having made the commitment one should be prepared to see it through...unless one party or the other is a persistent horner, or abusive.

Families SHOULD be held together "for the children" it is your moral obligation. They did not ask to be created in a wreck of a marriage, and should not expect to have to visit one parent or the other every other weekend.

While I have no real problem with "common law" marriages, it does indicate the parties simply are not prepared to make that commitment, so really would be better off not making children. A family is one that is TOGETHER, not a take a break from the current girlfriends hot spot to put in some kid time because you aught to. I do not call a part time father a Family unit.

Most westerners marry from choice and many make a mess of it.

Most Indian Asians marry by parental choice and have little choice. Yet have generally a much higher success rate... With the exception of that naughty man caught on that radio show....   smile

I take your point thoroughly.

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#15 Apr 09, 2018 8:05 am

Dancer
Active

Re: OUT OF WEDLOCK BIRTHS ON THE RAMPAGE--MOSTLY AMONG BLACKS AND LATINOS

.....................

" I see  that you have found one of your favorite words in big print . But wheel and come again. "  lol
I can't find too much fault with your observation that rampant  fornication keeps lots of us in chains and poverty. On a personal level  being able to experience life in 'foreign' and the island for months at a time , one can see the problem and temptation first hand .
... Young women (16-20) in the full bloom of youth  can be bought with trinkets because of POVERTY.
What 'courtship and commitment' , when you are hungry , need a cell phone , or a $5. top-up. And sometime targeted by older Geezers. Personally it seems more about poverty  THAN  immorality.

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